Reasons to Believe in Ronald Daniels
1. Ron Daniels is the only candidate with a proton pack. As Prosecutor he will be prepared to do battle with unethical people and ghosts. Given Professor Claxton's love of seyonces, we need someone ready to bust any ghosts. (Link)
2. Ron Daniels is not detered by this profession being equated to used car salesman, Daniels has been known himself to moonlight as a used car salesman. Here is video evidence of his sales abilities and his adventures as a Salesman captured by the local news.
3. Ron Daniels will enter the Courtroom to music that shall strike fear into the hearts of men and women. (Music for entering) (Music for leaving)
4. The only drug Ron Daniels is on is Diet Ginger Ale. Ron Daniels has basset hound blood and Eugene Talmadge DNA.
5. No one will have to worry about partisan lobbyists taking over Mercer Law School with Ron Daniels on the job. Ron Daniels rules the lobby. Everyone has seen Ron Daniels studying on his couch in the lobby. Ron Daniels also likes to refer to Ron Daniels in the third person, but promises not to fall down like Bob Dole.
6. You can't put a bucket over a pig's head more than once, it'll only make him skiddish.
7. Ron Daniels is well versed in the Ninja Rap.
8. We need a Prosecutor with a bowtie.
What People Are Saying About Ron
"Ron Daniels . . . that dog will hunt." Ryan English, Public Defender Law Clerk and 2L
"Ron Daniels will shut down 93 or 94 percent of all pinecone liquor stills at Mercer Law." Dustin Davies, 3L
"Because he's the hero Gotham Mercer Law deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight." - Jaime Richards, Mercer Law Alum
"As a Karate Master, I will not talk about anyone in this election. But our children cannot afford to live anywhere. There is nowhere to go. But when they come to raise the rent, Ron Daniels will whip the stew out of them. He's going to get the price of copper down too so we don't have to steal it from cemetaries no more. And why? The rent is too damn high." - Clayton Earl Eichelberger, 2L
"You're like the best Dan Aykroyd-impersonator, fifth Ghostbusters whatever ever." - David Dorer, 2L
"Ron Daniels could sell a ketchup popsicle to a white gloved lady" - John "Grandpa" Weltin
"Ron Daniels is not the kind of man that would flip a shaved dog on a Tuesday." - John McMichael, 2L
"Not since the dawn of Glenn Beck's impeccable career and leadership has a man been so thoughtful, astute, and generous to others. " - Eleta Andrews, former Law Student
"Ronald Daniels…Human Extraordinaire. Where there are ghosts, he’ll be there, where there are used cars to be sold, Big D is on his way, and believe me there are too many ghosts and used cars here at Mercer to not have Ronald Daniels to protect us." - Bert Hummel, SBA-Treasuer
"Back in Dodge, I once bore witness to Ron Daniels inventing a time machine and traveling back in time to become a poor stand-in for Orson Welles. It was horrible, but I liked it anyway." Josh Holt, 1L
"Ron Daniels is the only man alive who can put a bucket over a pig's head without making him skiddish." - Cliff Carlson, 2L
Now the serious stuff.
If you have read this far, congratulations. I hope you have found enjoyment and stress relief in my humor. But, if you have read this far I encourage you to read a little further.
The position of Honor Court Prosecutor is a very important job. As a student body, we place a lot of faith and trust in the Prosecutor. I will be a good steward of that faith and trust. There will be no witch hunts conducted by me if elected. I will seek to apply my pragmatic nature and common sense to achieve results that serve justice.
That doesn't mean everyone will get off lightly. If someone is brought before an Honor Court proceeding, I will put the hammer down. Through mock trial, I have experience with conducting trial and I amready to perform this job on day one if needed. Last year I was elected as a 2L Rep, and the SBA Executive put me in charge of Student Life. They saw me as a guy who could get things done, and that is exactly what I have done. From having potholes filled in, to fighting for us to get new microwaves and a new fridge. I've even had a hand in fixing our internet problems, increasing safety on campus, and cleaning out the fridge. On top of all of that, I was responsible for organizing OneL Success Panels.
I ask you for your support and for the oppurtunity to serve the Mercer Law Student body as Prosecutor. This is not a position I will take lightly, but rather a position I have wanted since I first stepped foot in this building. Thank you for your time.
Do you believe in Ronald Daniels?
Yours Very Truly,
Ron Daniels
Reasons to Believe in Ronald Daniels
1. Ron Daniels is the only candidate with a proton pack. As Prosecutor he will be prepared to do battle with unethical people and ghosts. Given Professor Claxton's love of seyonces, we need someone ready to bust any ghosts. (Link)
2. Ron Daniels is not detered by this profession being equated to used car salesman, Daniels has been known himself to moonlight as a used car salesman. Here is video evidence of his sales abilities and his adventures as a Salesman captured by the local news.
4. The only drug Ron Daniels is on is Diet Ginger Ale. Ron Daniels has basset hound blood and Eugene Talmadge DNA.
5. No one will have to worry about partisan lobbyists taking over Mercer Law School with Ron Daniels on the job. Ron Daniels rules the lobby. Everyone has seen Ron Daniels studying on his couch in the lobby. Ron Daniels also likes to refer to Ron Daniels in the third person, but promises not to fall down like Bob Dole.
6. You can't put a bucket over a pig's head more than once, it'll only make him skiddish.
7. Ron Daniels is well versed in the Ninja Rap.
8. We need a Prosecutor with a bowtie.
What People Are Saying About Ron
"Ron Daniels . . . that dog will hunt." Ryan English, Public Defender Law Clerk and 2L
"Ron Daniels will shut down 93 or 94 percent of all pinecone liquor stills at Mercer Law." Dustin Davies, 3L
"Because he's the hero Gotham Mercer Law deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight." - Jaime Richards, Mercer Law Alum
"As a Karate Master, I will not talk about anyone in this election. But our children cannot afford to live anywhere. There is nowhere to go. But when they come to raise the rent, Ron Daniels will whip the stew out of them. He's going to get the price of copper down too so we don't have to steal it from cemetaries no more. And why? The rent is too damn high." - Clayton Earl Eichelberger, 2L
"You're like the best Dan Aykroyd-impersonator, fifth Ghostbusters whatever ever." - David Dorer, 2L
"Ron Daniels could sell a ketchup popsicle to a white gloved lady" - John "Grandpa" Weltin
"Ron Daniels is not the kind of man that would flip a shaved dog on a Tuesday." - John McMichael, 2L
"Not since the dawn of Glenn Beck's impeccable career and leadership has a man been so thoughtful, astute, and generous to others. " - Eleta Andrews, former Law Student
"Ronald Daniels…Human Extraordinaire. Where there are ghosts, he’ll be there, where there are used cars to be sold, Big D is on his way, and believe me there are too many ghosts and used cars here at Mercer to not have Ronald Daniels to protect us." - Bert Hummel, SBA-Treasuer
"Back in Dodge, I once bore witness to Ron Daniels inventing a time machine and traveling back in time to become a poor stand-in for Orson Welles. It was horrible, but I liked it anyway." Josh Holt, 1L
"Ron Daniels is the only man alive who can put a bucket over a pig's head without making him skiddish." - Cliff Carlson, 2L
If you have read this far, congratulations. I hope you have found enjoyment and stress relief in my humor. But, if you have read this far I encourage you to read a little further.
The position of Honor Court Prosecutor is a very important job. As a student body, we place a lot of faith and trust in the Prosecutor. I will be a good steward of that faith and trust. There will be no witch hunts conducted by me if elected. I will seek to apply my pragmatic nature and common sense to achieve results that serve justice.
That doesn't mean everyone will get off lightly. If someone is brought before an Honor Court proceeding, I will put the hammer down. Through mock trial, I have experience with conducting trial and I amready to perform this job on day one if needed. Last year I was elected as a 2L Rep, and the SBA Executive put me in charge of Student Life. They saw me as a guy who could get things done, and that is exactly what I have done. From having potholes filled in, to fighting for us to get new microwaves and a new fridge. I've even had a hand in fixing our internet problems, increasing safety on campus, and cleaning out the fridge. On top of all of that, I was responsible for organizing OneL Success Panels.
I ask you for your support and for the oppurtunity to serve the Mercer Law Student body as Prosecutor. This is not a position I will take lightly, but rather a position I have wanted since I first stepped foot in this building. Thank you for your time.
Do you believe in Ronald Daniels?
Yours Very Truly,
Ron Daniels